I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The feeling are messing with the penis
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
