'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
