i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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