Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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