Me. At least after what I've been through.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
