i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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