quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She bit a glass in half.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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