never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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