I love having hate sex.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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