For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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