Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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