belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I need to calm my uterus...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
