I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I'm at about main and main street
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
