Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
