god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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