I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Randomize
