she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
