The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
