Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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