Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
