Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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