Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
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