Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Randomize
