One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
