Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
