I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
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