Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Randomize