how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
