Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need a beard to bite.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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