How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
