Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
