is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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