so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Randomize
