Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
