shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
another moral hangover. fuck.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
