I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I want to be your penis for a week.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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