Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
