My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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