there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Randomize
