we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
