Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
