Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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