Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Damn victory sex feels great
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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