He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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