Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
