The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Randomize
