I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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