Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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