Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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