they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
