Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
