I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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