i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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