I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
