Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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