We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Randomize
