Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize