He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
