I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Randomize
