you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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