so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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