never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
